So, here we are, a week later. If you read last Tuesday’s post on self-care, you know that I have a report to make this week. Not because I think anyone really cares what I did all week to create “Calgon take me away moments,” but because I have to be accountable to something or someone – because God knows I cheat if I’m the only one looking.
I found that when I really slowed down to think about what I could do to give attention to, nurture and connect with myself, it usually meant doing two things.
Asking and Accepting
Asking: Asking for permission not only from a caregiver, usually one that goes by the name of Daddy, but also asking and giving myself permission to take action. And then asking myself to go forth, do it and then free myself of guilt. Sometimes the action wasn’t so easy, even though I knew it would be good. Sort of like going for a long run while you are training for a race. You know you will feel so good after, but all of a sudden – every excuse in the book seems to outweigh your interest in the actual running: your laundry is piled up, you need to get caught up on paying bills and your ankle sort of feels swollen. For example, I made dinner plans with a group of fantastically contagious woman that I am lucky to know – you know who you are, you hot mamas. Dinner was planned at 7ish and of course it turned into 8 as we were all just stepping off the battlefield and we were all still a little muddy from the day. We all came exhausted and ready to unwind. We showed up because we knew even though it would have been easier to stay at home and make excuses about too much to do or being too tired – we knew we would have missed out on plugging our dead battery in. The wine didn’t hurt, either – but the company and sharing a boat with women for a few hours left me smiling into the next day. It was so refreshing that I barely noticed the slight headache that knocked on my temples the next morning. (In our defense, they play music WAY too loud these days at restaurants/bars…geez, I’m sure that’s why I had a headache.)
Accepting: Meaning, plain and simple, accept and embrace the time, whatever time it is, that you make for yourself. Create a space that celebrates you and makes you feel lighter and stronger all at the same time. I have learned that sometimes the precious time you work so hard to plan for yourself falls short of your expectations, making the outcome a little more blurry than you expected. Either that darn clock just cranks too fast and you feel a few hours shy of refreshed, or you get home and all you can think about is where you just were… and feel GUILTY wishing you were still there – not here. It’s hard. It really is. Like today – I got my hair done after months of sad neglect on those graying brunette locks. And it felt SO good. All of it – the sitting in a chair and being dolled over, the scalp massage, the warm blow dryer and the fresh shake at the end of the blow out. But then, I came home… and I wanted to be THERE. I wanted to be back in the chair, all warm and dolled over. And I had to literally “fake it until I made it” HERE. Here, engaging with my kids. And I told myself, “THIS IS OK, you love your kids…you may miss that chair, but you LOVE your kids.” Accept your transition out of me time and know that it can feel gray. Gray as in, hard to define the peace you just created in your body, now that it is colliding with hurricane house manager. Where does “me time” stop and “us time” kick in?” Good question, let me know if you figure it out. In the end, it’s just a season. Accepting the season for what it is. In twenty years, our season will probably be wishing “me time” away and waiting in the kitchen for some “us time” to just walk through the door, with a pile of laundry, fresh from their dorm room.
So with that, I would LOVE and be touched to hear how YOU celebrated yourself and actually took yourself up on some ME time. Please share?
And finally, I haven’t forgotten about nourishing that cute little temple of yours with food glorious food. This is not original work on my part, however, it is a great post from Angela over at ohsheglows.com, again. She lists 14 foods that are a little off the beaten path, but oh so worth digging through the mud to find. You can find them here. Enjoy and let me know if you try one of them. I, myself, have my eyes on the banana soft serve…yum.